What's in a Name

There are 25 letters in your name. Those 25 letters total to 110 There are 11 vowels and 14 consonants in your name. Your number is: 2 The characteristics of #2 are: Cooperation, adaptability, consideration of others, partnering, mediating. The expression or destiny for #2: A number 2 Expression gives you the tools to work very well with other people. Your destiny is in the role of the mediator and the peacemaker. In many ways you are dependent on others and seem to function best in a partnership or in some form of group activity. Modesty runs deep in your nature, and you can work comfortably without recognition of your accomplishments. Often, others get credit for your ideas, and this is of little real concern to your since you are such a willing team player. As you grow in this direction, you become sensitive to the feelings of others, you are ever diplomatic in handling complicated situations. Cooperative, courteous, and considerate, you have the capacity to become an outstanding facilitator. You know how to organize and handle people. You are a good detail person because you rarely overlook anything. Tactful and friendly, nearly everyone likes you. The negative 2 personality can be over-sensitive and easily hurt. Too much of this number in your makeup can make you very shy and uncertain. Sometimes the excessive 2 energies makes one apathetic and somewhat indifferent to the job at hand; the ability to handle details is hampered in these cases. Your Soul Urge number is: 3 A Soul Urge number of 3 means: With the Soul Urge number 3 your desire in life is personal expression, and generally enjoying life to its fullest. You want to participate in an active social life and enjoy a large circle of friends. You want to be in the limelight, expressing your artistic or intellectual talents. Word skills may be your thing; speaking, writing, acting, singing. In a positive sense, the 3 energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social. You have a decidedly upbeat attitude that is rarely discouraged; a good mental and emotional balance. The 3 Soul Urge gives intuitive insight, thus, very high creative and inspirational tendencies. The truly outstanding trait shown by the 3 Soul Urge is that of self-expression, regardless of the field of endeavor. On the negative side, you may at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Often, the excessive 3 energy produces non-stop talkers. Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn't appreciate having these pointed out. Your Inner Dream number is: 8 An Inner Dream number of 8 means: You dream of success in the business or political world, of power and control of large material endeavors. You crave authority and recognition of executive skills. Your secret self may have very strong desire to become an entrepreneur.

Modern Love

My cousin emailed me this story and i can't help but share it with you guys. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did... it is funny! Btw, I have so many kwento to tell but unfortunately super busy here. Until next time. Modern Love What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage By AMY SUTHERLAND As I wash dishes at the kitchen sink, my husband paces behind me, irritated. "Have you seen my keys?" he snarls, then huffs out a loud sigh and stomps from the room with our dog, Dixie, at his heels, anxious over her favorite human's upset. In the past I would have been right behind Dixie. I would have turned off the faucet and joined the hunt while trying to soothe my husband with bromides like, "Don't worry, they'll turn up." But that only made him angrier, and a simple case of missing keys soon would become a full-blown angst-ridden drama starring the two of us and our poor nervous dog. Now, I focus on the wet dish in my hands. I don't turn around. I don't say a word. I'm using a technique I learned from a dolphin trainer. I love my husband. He's well read, adventurous and does a hysterical rendition of a northern Vermont accent that still cracks me up after 12 years of marriage. But he also tends to be forgetful, and is often tardy and mercurial. He hovers around me in the kitchen asking if I read this or that piece in The New Yorker when I'm trying to concentrate on the simmering pans. He leaves wadded tissues in his wake. He suffers from serious bouts of spousal deafness but never fails to hear me when I mutter to myself on the other side of the house. "What did you say?" he'll shout. These minor annoyances are not the stuff of separation and divorce, but in sum they began to dull my love for Scott. I wanted — needed — to nudge him a little closer to perfect, to make him into a mate who might annoy me a little less, who wouldn't keep me waiting at restaurants, a mate who would be easier to love. So, like many wives before me, I ignored a library of advice books and set about improving him. By nagging, of course, which only made his behavior worse: he'd drive faster instead of slower; shave less frequently, not more; and leave his reeking bike garb on the bedroom floor longer than ever. We went to a counselor to smooth the edges off our marriage. She didn't understand what we were doing there and complimented us repeatedly on how well we communicated. I gave up. I guessed she was right — our union was better than most — and resigned myself to stretches of slow-boil resentment and occasional sarcasm. Then something magical happened. For a book I was writing about a school for exotic animal trainers, I started commuting from Maine to California, where I spent my days watching students do the seemingly impossible: teaching hyenas to pirouette on command, cougars to offer their paws for a nail clipping, and baboons to skateboard. I listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint. Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but lovable species, the American husband. The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband. Back in Maine, I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. If he threw in two, I'd kiss him. Meanwhile, I would step over any soiled clothes on the floor without one sharp word, though I did sometimes kick them under the bed. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller. I was using what trainers call "approximations," rewarding the small steps toward learning a whole new behavior. You can't expect a baboon to learn to flip on command in one session, just as you can't expect an American husband to begin regularly picking up his dirty socks by praising him once for picking up a single sock. With the baboon you first reward a hop, then a bigger hop, then an even bigger hop. With Scott the husband, I began to praise every small act every time: if he drove just a mile an hour slower, tossed one pair of shorts into the hamper, or was on time for anything. I also began to analyze my husband the way a trainer considers an exotic animal. Enlightened trainers learn all they can about a species, from anatomy to social structure, to understand how it thinks, what it likes and dislikes, what comes easily to it and what doesn't. For example, an elephant is a herd animal, so it responds to hierarchy. It cannot jump, but can stand on its head. It is a vegetarian. The exotic animal known as Scott is a loner, but an alpha male. So hierarchy matters, but being in a group doesn't so much. He has the balance of a gymnast, but moves slowly, especially when getting dressed. Skiing comes naturally, but being on time does not. He's an omnivore, and what a trainer would call food-driven. Once I started thinking this way, I couldn't stop. At the school in California, I'd be scribbling notes on how to walk an emu or have a wolf accept you as a pack member, but I'd be thinking, "I can't wait to try this on Scott." On a field trip with the students, I listened to a professional trainer describe how he had taught African crested cranes to stop landing on his head and shoulders. He did this by training the leggy birds to land on mats on the ground. This, he explained, is what is called an "incompatible behavior," a simple but brilliant concept. Rather than teach the cranes to stop landing on him, the trainer taught the birds something else, a behavior that would make the undesirable behavior impossible. The birds couldn't alight on the mats and his head simultaneously. At home, I came up with incompatible behaviors for Scott to keep him from crowding me while I cooked. To lure him away from the stove, I piled up parsley for him to chop or cheese for him to grate at the other end of the kitchen island. Or I'd set out a bowl of chips and salsa across the room. Soon I'd done it: no more Scott hovering around me while I cooked. I followed the students to SeaWorld San Diego, where a dolphin trainer introduced me to least reinforcing syndrome (L. R. S.). When a dolphin does something wrong, the trainer doesn't respond in any way. He stands still for a few beats, careful not to look at the dolphin, and then returns to work. The idea is that any response, positive or negative, fuels a behavior. If a behavior provokes no response, it typically dies away. In the margins of my notes I wrote, "Try on Scott!" It was only a matter of time before he was again tearing around the house searching for his keys, at which point I said nothing and kept at what I was doing. It took a lot of discipline to maintain my calm, but results were immediate and stunning. His temper fell far shy of its usual pitch and then waned like a fast-moving storm. I felt as if I should throw him a mackerel. Now he's at it again; I hear him banging a closet door shut, rustling through papers on a chest in the front hall and thumping upstairs. At the sink, I hold steady. Then, sure enough, all goes quiet. A moment later, he walks into the kitchen, keys in hand, and says calmly, "Found them." Without turning, I call out, "Great, see you later." Off he goes with our much-calmed pup. After two years of exotic animal training, my marriage is far smoother, my husband much easier to love. I used to take his faults personally; his dirty clothes on the floor were an affront, a symbol of how he didn't care enough about me. But thinking of my husband as an exotic species gave me the distance I needed to consider our differences more objectively. I adopted the trainers' motto: "It's never the animal's fault." When my training attempts failed, I didn't blame Scott. Rather, I brainstormed new strategies, thought up more incompatible behaviors and used smaller approximations. I dissected my own behavior, considered how my actions might inadvertently fuel his. I also accepted that some behaviors were too entrenched, too instinctive to train away. You can't stop a badger from digging, and you can't stop my husband from losing his wallet and keys. PROFESSIONALS talk of animals that understand training so well they eventually use it back on the trainer. My animal did the same. When the training techniques worked so beautifully, I couldn't resist telling my husband what I was up to. He wasn't offended, just amused. As I explained the techniques and terminology, he soaked it up. Far more than I realized. Last fall, firmly in middle age, I learned that I needed braces. They were not only humiliating, but also excruciating. For weeks my gums, teeth, jaw and sinuses throbbed. I complained frequently and loudly. Scott assured me that I would become used to all the metal in my mouth. I did not. One morning, as I launched into yet another tirade about how uncomfortable I was, Scott just looked at me blankly. He didn't say a word or acknowledge my rant in any way, not even with a nod. I quickly ran out of steam and started to walk away. Then I realized what was happening, and I turned and asked, "Are you giving me an L. R. S.?" Silence. "You are, aren't you?" He finally smiled, but his L. R. S. has already done the trick. He'd begun to train me, the American wife. Amy Sutherland is the author of "Kicked, Bitten and Scratched: Life and Lessons at the Premier School for Exotic Animal Trainers" (Viking, June 2006). She lives in Boston and in Portland, Me.

Oh well...

I am officially a US citizen, had my Oath taking done this morning at the Federal court in downtown Chicago. I thought I'll be more excited, since I have been dreaming about this when I was still in the Philippines. But when it did finally happen, all I felt was relief that it was finally over after 10 months of waiting. The only thing that made it emotional was the speech of the Judge who preceded the Oath taking for 143 people from 36 different countries. She said (yes the judge was a she) her great great grandparents came here from Ireland in the 1800's to escape poverty and they came in America with nothing. Her great grandmother was a chamber maid at one of the hotels in the early days. Her grandfather and father was a firemen in Chicago and her father married the girl 3 doors down and who is also a fireman's daughter. And now all her siblings, all 5 of them including her are college graduate. And she went on by saying, did her great grandparents foreseen that after four generation of their family, they will have 5 great great grandchildren who are collage graduate and one working as a Federal Judge. And she said yes, she believed that they have foreseen that. That story kidda made me teary eye. After my Oath taking we went straight home and rested and waited for the painter to arrive for the estimate on our house. It was a little over what we were thinking, but with some haggling we did lower the price a little. They'll start as soon as we give them the paint color for the house. They said it will take them 2 to 3 days, not bad right. At least it will be just in time for the House Blessing in July. Since some of my guest are pregnant, I have to consider the fume. It will be air out by then. *** All that we ordered online last week and from last month arrived this week except for the other 3 piece sofa for our living room. From my new phone to my Bare Escentuals. Now Mike's only request to me is that I lessen my blogging habits...Yaks!. And 'if' I could totally stop at all,... the blogging, blog hopping?. Well, I told him I will try to lessen it, but I can't totally stop. But since we will be busy painting and decorating the house in time for the House Blessing, I will have no time to blog anyways. So, I think for now I'll be taking a very long break from blogging. Oh well... I have to concentrate on making our house feels like home. Because right now it's just white walls and a very open space (sorry Bauer no more playing inside the house). As soon as everything is settled, I'll be back blogging again. This is not goodbye but... later!.

it's here! it's here!

It arrived yesterday, while I was painting one of the rooms. And Mike was the one who found it in our front porch. I can't wait to use it. I'm going to Home Depot to buy some more supplies for the painting job, it will be a chance to use my BE...hehe! *** Our leather sofa is arriving today... I'm excited!... sa wakas may upuan na kami after over year long wait (no funds, napunta lahat sa wedding preps.... hehe!) our buns will be comfortable. And my new phone is also arriving today...yehey!... Double excitement.

Movie Nite, Oath, Bauer, BE, Magenta

Last night was our movie night, so we watch two movies... The Break-Up and Over the Hedge. We first watch The Break-Up,... and I liked it. It was funny, at times dramatic, with a touch of romance. And most of all it was heart felt. I love the ending, it is how a break-up should end. Mike did not like the ending, because they didn't get back together. And I have to remind him the title is...The Break-Up, it did not say The Make-Up!. But over all he like the movie as well. There was a scene that Brooke was crying (Jennifer Aniston), because Gary (Vince Vaughn) stood her up. And she was in 'her' bedroom and then Gary entered and was saying his apology, and after awhile when Brooke turn and you see her crying, you can't help but wonder if it is Brooke or Jennifer crying (because of you know who). Because she was really really sobbing, tears running down her checks it really felt real. Then after The Break-Up, we had our bathroom break and hop on the next room to watch Over the Hedge. The movie is out right funny. I don't know if it's all the kids laugther that's making it even more funnier. And of course like all Pixar/Disney movie it has a moral lesson. *** Last week 3 days after my interview, I got a letter from the Department of Homeland Security U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. It's a Notice of Naturalization Oath Ceremony, informing me about my Oath Taking on June 8 at 12:00 pm.

Good thing it is in the same building I had my interview and we don't have to look for it. It's on the 25th floor of the Federal Building, maybe now the ambiance is more appealing. The last time I had my interview is at the 3rd floor, and there was a renovation going on. And everything was concrete and steel, not so much what I expected the Federal Building would be. Mike would be coming along, just like before, since I don't want to be by myself. It's not that I'm afraid or scared to go to downtown by myself, but I'd rather he drive me around. I'm not use to being caught in traffic anymore, since I've been living in the suburb. I like my road wide open and driving 70-80 mph, not 15-25 mph plus brake.

Since my Oath Taking is not until 12 noon, Mike suggested the we go early just like before and stroll around the city. That would be a great idea, plus Mike haven't seen downtown during summer time. This would a good time to do that, now that it is still in the 70's, once you reach 90's ahh forget about it. I hope there is time for us to walk by the lake (Lake Michigan), it would be an absolutely fantastic way to see the skyscraper.

***

Now that Summer is here Bauer's been having a blast.

We've been walking him out and around the neighborhood almost everyday and Mike's been playing with him in our backyard every single day with his flying saucer. Bauer has been the light of our life the past month, he would always make as laugh and he can sense if we are sad, he'll put his head under our hand or he would leak us.

But also the past couple of weeks he have an ear infection. He hasn't been feeling well lately. When Mike is not around to play with him he would just lay on our old sofa and sleep there. Of course I feel so bad since he can't say if his ear hurts or if anything else hurt. We think he got it from the dust, when we had are lights installed. They were sanding the walls and ceiling that time. Of course Bauer is not use to that. Hopefully his ear will get better soon.

***

There have been so much talk about Bare Escentuals at n@w. And of course I have seen tons of infomercial about BE. Once when I was still in Ohio, I almost telephone them for an order, but had a second thought. Then spontaneously I bought a product similar to BE the Sheer Cover. I didn't like the product, it makes my skin very oily. So I stop using it after that one time.

Then I read on one of my fellow n@w's blog that she bought the Bare Escentuals product and she has but nice things to say about it. So, with renewed interest on BE, I search the website and watch the infomercial again and again until I got what I need to know. And last week I ordered my very own Bare Minerals. I bought the 10 piece collection which save me 70%, rather than buying it individually.

I'm expecting it to arrive this coming week and I'm excited to use it. *** Mike and I bought a new phone, one for each of us also last week. Super shopping talaga kami last week. Mike bought a new phone as a work phone, so all his calls from the agency, patient, nurses and doctor will go there and the phone that he have now will be his personal phone. Which I suggested to him and which also made sense. For me the reason I bought a phone is... nothing!. Well, actually my phone is old and since that phone was free (see how old it is, the only reason phones here are free is when they are very old and most of the time they don't have that kind of phone anymore) I guess there is no harm on getting a new one. I choose this Motorola RAZR V3 Magenta... it is slim, light and I simply like the color. It makes me happy.

For once in my Life

I got introduce to Michael Buble by my bestfriend just this week. It is her favorite singer now a days and he sang their wedding song (hence the title). I have never heard of his name, up until this week... but even though I haven't heard his name I can say that I have heard some of his songs. And last night when my bestfriend had me listening to his song (see below), somehow it got stuck on my head. But I can only remember the first 2 lines of the lyrics. Which is annoying for me, and you have that urge to remember the next line after that and then the next one after that... and so on and so fort. So, what I did is just post the lyrics and the actual song here so I can listen to it every time I check my blog. I specially love the way he sings... sort of Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennet.

(Sorry I have to take out the video... it starting to get annoying for me...hehe!)

For once in my Life I have someone who needs me Someone I've needed so long For once unafraid I can go where life leads me And somehow I know I'll be strong For once I can touch What my heart used to dream of Long before I knew Someone warm like you Could make my dream come true For once in my life I won't let sorrow hurt me Not like it's hurt me before For once I've got someone I know won't desert me I'm not alone anymore For once I can say This is mine, you CAN'T take it As long as I know I've got love I can make it For once in my life I've got someone who needs me

100 days

It has been 100 days since our Church wedding and a lot of things has happen. Good things... I found out I was pregnant and I received the letter from INS about my interview. And received wedding pictures from our Photographers, which was still exciting for me. And not so good news, we finally lost the baby last week. We were hoping that my OB was wrong and that our baby will develop a heart beat after my last check up. But unfortunately after a few days I started to have some spotting, which leads to losing the baby. After weeks of preparing yourself for the inevitable when you get there, the emotions that I felt before, when I first knew what was going to happen, it just comes back again. It wasn't really meant for us. It's all in God's time, at least that's what Mike keep reminding me. *** In a happier note I pass my US citizenship test last week. I'm just waiting for the schedule date of the Oath taking and then I can be officially swear in. What I'm excited about being a US citizen besides voting, is having a US passport. That means I don't need any visas going to Europe for our much needed vacation/honeymoon.

Learning to Cope

You prepare yourself for the worst, but when it comes you just can't be prepared enough. I cried my eyes out that day when it was said and done. This time I can't hold back the tears, as much as I would like to. It just keeps on coming...

2nd Ultrasound

I had my 2nd ultrasound done yesterday, it was at 3:40 pm so Mike can be there as well. The Sonographer ask me if everything is fine, I said yes. She didn't talk much, after a few minutes she said she would like to do a transvaginal ultrasound to make an accurate measurement. I was thinking...Oh boy! here we go again. Actually the second time was not that bad as the first. She told me to put it myself, which helps a lot. She then measure the fetus, then after that she said she'll be back. When she got back, she said that Dr. Brown would like to discuss the ultrasound with us, and if I were available tomorrow at 10:15 am. I said yes of course. Then Mike ask her if everything is okay. She said the fetus did not grow as they have expected it be. And then I started thinking...what does she mean?. On our way home I was silently thinking of what did she mean 'the baby is not growing?'...hmmm. That night I went to my computer and surf what do you see at 6 weeks into your pregnancy. I look up another people ultrasound, which looks exactly as mine did. Then like a light bulb it came to me there was "no fetal heartbeat". I did not hear it on my ultrasound, since I saw Jacq's ultrasound and heard her baby's heartbeat, it should have been there. So I surf the net when do you hear the heartbeat. And there it was, it says you should hear it by 5 or 6 weeks into your pregnancy. Then I search for possible reason why there is no heartbeat at 6 to 7 weeks. And there are a lot of reasons, the baby's heartbeat is to weak, the baby's position, the uterus is to high...etc. But only one really stand out to me, you can loose the baby!. If there is no fetal heartbeat, chances are you will miscarry. Before I put myself into further misery, I stop my search and told myself 'I'll wait for my appointment tomorrow'. *** I just came home from my OB's appointment. He said the growth of the baby is normal over 6 weeks, but he also said that it was locking something that he hopes will be there. And that it the fetal heartbeat, he also said something was not there..I just did not get it after he said 'heartbeat...'. He ask me if I still have my cramping, which I told him 'yes a little bit, but not like before'. He told me straight forward that there is a chance of miscarried. I was brave and strong enough to hold my tears back when he said that. He said that we should wait for week and do another ultrasound and see if it will come up. He also said that he would like to monitor the baby conservatively, since there is a chance for miscarried. While writing this I can't help but shed a few tears... knowing that there is a chance, we can loose our baby. You know this at the back of your mind, but to be told and it's right there on your face. It really hits you. When we left the clinic, Mike whispered to me 'If it is God's will....". Well whatever is his will for this baby I will accept. But I will still hope and pray....

Feeling Blue

For the past two weeks I've been feeling "tamad", I don't want to do any house work. I don't want to do any exercises (that is walking), and I don't even want to go out. Even taking a shower is such a task. I don't know if it is because of the pregnancy, or I'm just simply bored. I am a housewife, I know there is nothing wrong on being a housewife. There is a lot of advantages that comes with it. But at the same time the feeling of boredom just can't scape you. Don't get me wrong, I love taking care of my husband, there is nothing I would love to do. But the feeling of something is missing just keep creeping in me. Is it the need of going back to work? the work that is not making me happy. Or the feeling of personal achievement, is that what I'm looking for?. The past few weeks have made me think, maybe I should give it one more try. You only loose when you quit right?!. And never in my life have I been a quitter. If I put my mind into it, I achieve more than a aim for. As my bestfriend once shared her motto to me..."If God got you to it, then God will get you through it". I know now it doesn't make any sense, but to me it does and it will, with God's help and guidance.